The day the bras fell on Flora-Bama

The day the bras fell on Flora-Bama
Wes Loper finds fodder in avalanche of unmentionables
By Fran Thompson
Wes Loper was not expecting to add a titillating video to his youtube channel when he arrived at the Flora-Bama dome stage to get the party started early one recent Sunday afternoon.
But a few songs into his set, while he was playing a request from a fan who was filming, a clothesline strewn with hundreds of bras fell from the rafters above him to the dance floor in front of him.
The veteran entertainer immediately looked up towards the balcony that surrounds the stage, but when he “did not see any obvious signs of misconduct,’’ he started cutting up.
“Clean-up on Isle One. Clean Up On Aisle One, Two, Three, Four & Five,’’ he said as a few hundred bustiers of various sizes and shapes filled a good portion of the dance floor.
“That was bound to happen at some point. I say we all just dive in like a pile of leaves. Let’s do it,’’ he added. “I can now say I was there when there was one too many bras hanging at the Flora-Bama. Let’s just see how long it will stay there.’’
Loper even made a call from the stage to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to see if the collapsed string of brassieres would be considered a state emergency.
“I’m in the entertainment industry. That’s what I was put on earth to do. So I just went with it,’’ Loper said. “It’s just par for the course at the ‘Bama.
“There is so much stuff that happens every day there. Even with social media, you can’t catch it all. If it happened in the middle of the night, somebody would have just come in that morning and cleaned it up. But it happened right in the middle of a song while I was playing a request (Southern Cross) for a friend who was videoing.’’
All songwriters are storytellers by nature. So, it was natural for Loper to put down the story in words.
Thus, “The Bra Line Broke in the Bama Dome” is on his facebook page and Youtube channel.
As expected, the facebook comments in response to Loper’s post were plentiful and often hilarious.
“Wes, your cup runneth over,’’ wrote Todd Cooley
“Keep me abreast of the situation,’’ wrote fellow musician Les Linton.
Milton Rittlemeyer called Loper’s story “a bra(zen) attempt to make the most out of an epic tragedy.’’
“I’ve seen a lot there, but bra angels is a first,’’ added La Shea Martin.
“Are you sure that it wasn’t a booby trap?’’ asked Jerry Tuel.
“I think I see mine,’’ wrote Bridget Miller-Hester.
“I’m sharing this with my breast friends,’’ added Andral Brown.
Loper has not put a melody behind the story yet. But if he does, it would not surprise Joel Payne.
“I feel a song coming, Bama Bras,’’ Payne posted. “You already have the album cover pic.’’
Loper said he eventually will write a song about the incident that garnered more than 20,000 Facebook reaches in addition to hits on his youtube channel that were more than 20 times the total of anything else he has ever posted.
“I am not even sure what a reach means, and a big part was the Flora-Bama sharing it. But it seems like a lot of people saw it,’’ he said.
Loper has been blending rock, country, blues and folk into his own funky style at the Flora-Bama, Lulu’s, the SEC circuit and points beyond for more than 30 years.
The Mobile native released his first album, “Take Me Home,” in 2000. He released a second, “Keep on Growin,” in 2005 and a live album with his band as well as another studio album, “Somethin’ Real,’’ in 2012. He will release another album of new songs this fall.
For the past two years, he and his wife and two children have been traveling for gigs and living in an RV.
Although now living in a home without wheels, since their children are near high school age, the family will take off in August on a tour that will take them to North Carolina, up the East Coast to  New Hampshire and then west to Oklahoma.
In Loper’s Own Words
Below is Loper’s facebook post in (mostly) his own words:
The Bra Line Broke in the Bama Dome, nearly missing an unsuspecting guest, Miss Lottie, as she walked across the empty dance floor during Wes Loper’s Sunday show.
Miss Lottie said only one tattoo was grazed by a clasp and, by the Grace of God, she needed only one extremity amputated from the skin eating staff infection she contracted.
As a safety precaution, a Titnus shot was administered immediately to everyone within 38 ft. of the bra-haa.
Coincidentally, 38 ft. was the mean size of the bras, which collectively exceeded the weight limit of the nylon ski-rope that held the undergarments over head.
The Flora-Bama customer service staff, most of them with many military deployments behind them, were well trained to respond to such emergency situations.
Florida Governor DeSantis and Alabama’s own Governor, Me-Maw Ivey both called the Flora-Bama personally to make sure the situation was under control, as vibrations from the jolt caught the attention of seismograph station staff members in both capitals within minutes.
Both governors offered to send haz-mat teams. But once again, it was not necessary, as the many talented customer service representatives the Flora~Bama employs are well trained.
Before the staff could grab the Haz-Mat gear and establish a perimeter, a crazed beach bum (me) jumped in and made a snow angel in the pile of undergarments. He (me) later returned to the stage after a priest in attendance saw him (me) for an emergency confession on the upper deck.
Video of the incident was caught by a super-fan and can be found at the official Wes Loper YouTube channel.
And that ladies and gents is why you should never miss a Wes Loper show.