Why do Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs

Bob, a 65-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blonde: she proceeds to knock everyone’s socks off with her youthful appeal and charm. She also hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast.
They corner him and ask. “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”
Bob replies. “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”
They’re knocked over, but continue to ask.
“So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”
Bob says: “I lied about my age.”
His friends respond:
“What, did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bob smiles and says:
“No, I told her I was 90.”
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Why do Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs? They’re Inca hoots!
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Son: “Hey Mom, tomorrow there’s a small PTA meeting at school.”
Mom: “A small PTA meeting?”
Son: “Yeah, just you, me and the principal.”
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Vet: “Is your dog friendly?”
Me: “Friendly? She’s had five litters! How much ‘friendlier’ than that can she get?”
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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc… ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’’’
The doctor replied, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.”’
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• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
• When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
• You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
• Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
• He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
• Every calendar’s days are numbered.
• A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• A plateau is a high form of flattery.
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
• Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
• When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done.
• Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
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• Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy beer and wine at the front.
• Banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
• We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
• We buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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Ever wonder why….
• The sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
• Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
• Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
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• Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
• Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the results were staggering.
• I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
• I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
• What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
• I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.