Funny Bones
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Where do you see yourself in six months?
Two music lovers were being held hostage and both were going to be shot. One of them was a country music lover and the other...
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. “Nonsense,” scolded the doctor. “You wouldn’t know if you had that. With...
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Why do bicycles fall over?
Daughter: ” I don’t like the boy you found for me… his teeth are not in order and he looks ugly when he smiles.” Mother:...
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More silly stuff to ponder
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your...
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He’s as country as cornflakes
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working...
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What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops
Two eskimos were chatting. One said, “Where did your mother come from?” “Alaska.” “Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!” •••••••••• I went on a date...
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I’ll drink to anything
Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. “What happened, son?” his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. “Did she...
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I’ve started a new exercise program
A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver, “When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, ‘sixty-five at...
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I told my boss that three companies were after me
Did you hear about the drummer who gave his daughters the same names? Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4. •••••••••• Doctor: “I see...
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Two silkworms had a race that ended in a tie
I don’t know why most people think a dog’s life is so easy. Every time I come home from work, I ask my dog how...
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Why will everyone be seeing more clearly next year?
A college coach had recruited a top talent, but the player couldn’t pass the school’s entrance exam. Needing the recruit badly, the coach went to...
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The 10 worst things to say to a cop who pulls you over
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing. •••••••••• A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop:...
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Top Ten Caddy Comments
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she...
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Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
The mother of three unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Sure,” she replied,...
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Velcro? what a rip off!
These jokes are award winningly bad… • Sometimes I like my steak under cooked…But that’s rare. • Why does a room full of married people look so...