Funny Bones
-
There is great need for a sarcasm font
I t’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference...
-
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of...
-
Different views on doing laundry
A manager announces to his staff, “I’ve lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I’m offering a 100 dollars finder’s fee!” A...
-
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch
•••••••••• Child: “Mom, can I go out to play?” Mom: “What? With those holes in your pants?” Child: “No, with the kids next door.” ••••••••••...
-
Bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole...
-
My feelings toward the ring haven’t changed one bit
A young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had on her vacation. She then asked her boss for...
-
On the way means Still in bed
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building, “Mr Trepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-room apartment as I...
-
Did you hear about the big power outage last week
I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out my customers didn’t like it when I tried to go the extra...
-
Where do you see yourself in six months?
Two music lovers were being held hostage and both were going to be shot. One of them was a country music lover and the other...
-
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. “Nonsense,” scolded the doctor. “You wouldn’t know if you had that. With...
