Funny Bones
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I don’t always go the extra mile
Boss: I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office! Employee: But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players. Boss: I’ll have...
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Try getting up half an hour later
I took my bicycle to the liquor store the other day. I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike’s basket. As...
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I’m convinced my mind is almost completely gone!
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work, but she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why.“Because your jokes aren’t...
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I joined our neighborhood watch program
I joined our neighborhood watch program last night… There’s 30 of us though so I only get to wear it 1 day a month. ••••••••••...
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The glass is half full
The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought...
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What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment?
Student: “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this ‘F’ grade that you’ve given me!” Professor: “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade...
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You know you’re a redneck when Jokes
I just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn’t include a driver. Can’t believe I’ve spent all that money and have...
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Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes
If your name is on the building, you’re rich or famous. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle-class. If your name is on...
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I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel
It’s so cold in Alaska that someone stabbed himself with an icicle and died of cold cuts and babies are brought by penguins, not storks...
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I had my patience tested
I broke up with my girlfriend because I found out she was a communist. I should have known, there were red flags everywhere. •••••••••• I...
