Funny Bones
-
Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine?
Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve...
-
The difference between a golfer and a skydiver
I d really feel bad for the Class of 2020. People say your senior year flies. I just didn’t realize it would Zoom! •••••••••• The...
-
My Dog
I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X. I don’t know why. •••••••••• I used to be in a band called...
-
I’ve got some good news and some bad news
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?” •••••••••• A customer walked up to my...
-
Tequila Mockingbird
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature? Tequila Mockingbird. ••••••••• Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to...
-
I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes
Me: “I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.” Friend: “How?” Me: “I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.” •••••••••• Artist: “This...
-
Start every day off with a smile and get it over wit
Johnny: “Why does it rain, dad?” Father: “To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees.” Johnny: “So why does it rain on...
-
Four priests in New York went golfing
Four priests in New York went golfing wearing typical “golfer” outfits. After a while, their caddy asked, “You guys wouldn’t be priests by any chance?”...
-
My brain travels at the speed of light
The zoo keeper found a new employee standing uneasy next to the lion’s cage. Zoo keeper: “Didn’t I tell you that when the lion is...
-
There is great need for a sarcasm font
I t’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference...
