Funny Bones
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How long will this COVID thing will last?
A lawyer’s dog is having a great time running around the neighborhood unleashed — it heads directly to the butcher shop and pilfers a roast....
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Welcome to the family
Patient: Lately I’ve had the feeling that everyone wants to take advantage of me. Doctor: That’s nonsense. Patient: Really? Thank you very much, doctor. I...
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Writing a horror screenplay
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house and...
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Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine?
Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve...
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The difference between a golfer and a skydiver
I d really feel bad for the Class of 2020. People say your senior year flies. I just didn’t realize it would Zoom! •••••••••• The...
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My Dog
I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X. I don’t know why. •••••••••• I used to be in a band called...
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I’ve got some good news and some bad news
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?” •••••••••• A customer walked up to my...
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Tequila Mockingbird
What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature? Tequila Mockingbird. ••••••••• Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to...
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I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes
Me: “I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.” Friend: “How?” Me: “I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.” •••••••••• Artist: “This...
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over wit
Johnny: “Why does it rain, dad?” Father: “To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees.” Johnny: “So why does it rain on...
